NR-012: The Whole Story.

NR-012
“on the twelfth day of christmas my true love gave to me a notrock holiday compilation”

In 2003 the not rock tribe was drumming up songs and making records at a rate that rivaled the output of James Patterson's typewriter (with the difference being that the songs were actually worth listening to unlike those “novels”). John Fisher had a novel idea; “why don’t we all record christmas songs and put out a compilation? It’ll be like a gift to all the kids who’ve listened to and supported us.” Everyone loved the idea and committed to doing their part. That was the last I heard of it.

Fast-forward to early December 2009. I was standing in the notrock warehouse looking for a copy of some hit-laden release from yesteryear. Once John’s peepers caught sight of me perusing the back wall, he insisted on getting what I needed for me (something about not wanting me to muck-up his flawless filing system). After shoving me out of the way, he reached in between a motorized Barbie horse and my pet monster and pulled forth a padded envelope with “NR012” crudely written upon it in black ink. That kid’s face lit up like mrs. fox in the supermarket and he let out an excited cheer like some kid in an 80’s tv ad. I asked him what was so darn exciting and he said that he didn’t have to lie anymore and that he could finally come clean about the christmas compilation:

John divulged to me that back in 2003 after the last of the christmas songs were handed in he compiled the master disc and hid it so that nobody would get a “sneak peak”. Problem was that he forgot where he had stashed it. So, for the past six years he’s been telling people it never happened because everybody else dropped the ball and failed to hand in songs.

(Side Note: I started to think that he might have my 3 3/4” GI Joe LAW & ORDER: MP with K9 Dog and that I didn’t give it to Pat Helms like he’s been telling me since 1989).

What’s weird is after he pulled out the master I only recognized two band names on the whole darn thing and the liner notes said some of the songs were recorded in 2009. That’s a little bizarre right? I mean, how could a cd made in 2003 have songs on it that didn’t exist until 6 years later? You can tell me I’m wrong for not trusting my friend and what he told me, but this story seemed too far-fetched to be legit. It’s taken me a great deal of serious contemplation over many sleepless nights, but I’m pretty sure I’ve finally figured out and come to terms with what “really” happened:

By December 2003 only Annoying Customer had handed in a holiday song for the compilation (which was purely coincidental because the song had been part of their back catalog for years). After the next couple of years went by without any other submissions John got embarrassed that the release he promised was being held up by means outside of his control. Now, what happened next might be somewhat difficult to swallow, but I am fairly certain that my dearest friend invented a time machine sometime in the middle of the decade and went into the future to gather songs for the compilation. He then went back to the year 2003 and put the finished cd in the warehouse in a place where he would be sure to find it; between the motorized Barbie horse and the my pet monster. Problem was that the 2003 version of him was much less interested in these things and it took until 2009 for him to stumble upon the envelope while looking for some hit-laden release from yesteryear for me.

I know. I know . . . Why didn’t he just bring the songs back to the year in which he invented the time machine? Why didn’t he just retrieve it when he returned from hiding it in 2003? These are great questions but I don’t know the answers and I’m not one to speculate on things without hard evidence. And ultimately what does it matter to you anyway? You’ve got your compilation cd. I’m the only one that should be a little peeved. I mean, first of all my best friend invents a time machine and doesn’t even tell me about it no less take me with him, and secondly he’s probably got my gi-joe veiled up somewhere in that warehouse!

All truth aside, the notrock holiday compilation is finally available. It’s called “on the twelfth day of christmas my true love gave to me a notrock holiday compilation” and you can get your very own copy for $3ppd. It has seventeen tunes; arranged as follows:

Sugar Cookies – Insouciant
Silent Night, Deadly Night – Annoying Customer
Snow Day – Built Me a Garden
This Boy’s Life – People In Charge
Your Christmas Sweater – Hero Squad
We Three Kings – Jenna DQ
Boot Tracks – Lost Wax
Hope, Love, and a Visit (to our youth) From Santa – Adzam
The Dogs of New York – Brian Chaundhry
Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming – Maple Faust
Why Don’t We Just Stay Up? – Bryan Kwasnik
Santa, Santa – Particle Zoo
Greensleeves – John Fisher & Molly Farrell
Letter to Santa – Systolic Reverie
12/25 – Maple Faust
Sugar Cookies (Acoustic) – Insouciant
Silent Night – Insouciant

It also has handmade diecut sleeves and is wrapped in a bow if those types of things should meet your fancy; and they should of course.

Postscript:
The insert reads “Happy Holidays from the Not Rock Family”. Please take that for more than a phrase in passing. There is a real family behind these things and I am forever grateful to have it hold my heart. For a while now a dear friend has been promising me a copy of “A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector”, if you don’t have it I suggest you pick it up, but personally I don’t need it anymore. How could it top a christmas cd that has most of the folks I care greatly about in the world all singing their hearts out?

MYSTERIOUS LONG LOST NR-012 TO BE RELEASED!

Much more info on this release is coming very soon.  Get excited it's going to be a good one!

Summer's Almost Over

Dear Les Paul,

Thank you for wanting to improve upon the sound of your guitar and putting pickups on a 4 x 4”; and thank you for rejecting the rejection of the skeptics who thought you were a little off-kiltered in the noggin. I cannot say that I like to have your namesake model and all of its weight hanging from my neck, but I sure do appreciate what it’s done in the grand scheme of all things sonic.

Thank you for the Octopus. It took a great thinker to imagine the idea and consider the possibilities of synchronizing tape machines to one another. From the bottom of my heart I will be thanking you forever for this thing we call sound on sound.

I regret having never put my ears in the same room as you and your guitar. This would have been a rather easy thing to accomplish, what with you performing weekly in a city only a short way away. I guess I kept putting it off, but I know there are probably a hundred Monday nights, any of which I could have made that short trip, that I spent doing much less exciting and entertaining things. For that I apologize to you, but in reality I surely should be apologizing to myself.

xoxo

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Charles Bukowski wrote: “you can’t beat death but you can beat death in life”. Les Paul may have succumbed to the former, but seemingly increased the frequency of the later as well. We should make a pact to follow that lead. Let us pinky swear upon it. It may be somewhat morbid, but the next time you find yourself with your legs bent at the knees and the incandescent glow of the small screen illuminating your eyes ask yourself if it’s enlightening your mind or warming your heart. If you were to fall asleep for the last time tonight what things would you rather have done in place of the many things that you seem to think you “did”?

A building bank account might look good on paper or when you’re thinking “toward the future”, but what if that future never comes? You can’t pay-off the reaper in dollars and cents. We would all be better suited if we spent less time focused on the “responsibilities” of life and dedicate more to smiling, laughing, and elevating our souls into the clouds. If you have a chance to do something special, exciting, new, or any little thing that would make you smile, jump at the chance, take it and relish in every moment of it, breath it deeply into your lungs and let your blood carry it to every cell in your body. Escape the humdrum and live your life, you might not get another chance.

In closing, let us also reflect on the words of another celebrated American writer, Mr John Hughes: “Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

PS: As usual, a very many great things are in the works within the NotRock tribe. Some are private, some are secret, but some are ready to be shared.

Insouciant is playing a show this Saturday night.

If you hadn’t planned on attending, this has changed your mind, yes?

John Fisher has put the prologue to his upcoming feature film The Fallout Chronicles on the interweb so that you can watch it. I watched it and it drummed up all sorts of excitement for me, I reckon’ it’ll do the same for you as well.

Also, if you are a netflix kind of kid, put this and this on your list, ok?